“Don’t have kids unless you’re prepared to say goodbye to motorcycling.”
Over the years, my husband and I heard this time and time again from fellow riders. As a couple married for over a decade, acquaintances shared stories of people they knew who traded their garage full of bikes for a minivan and weekends on the mountain roads for pee wee soccer games.
There was the repeated message that children are expensive and a time-consuming responsibility and therefore it’s a significant obstacle to raise a child and pursue the passion of the motorcycling. After all, motorcycles aren’t cheap. So, after years of being warned over-and-over again that our life as we know it would be over the moment kids were introduced, we were understandably hesitant. Life was good. Why would we want to sacrifice what we have when no one on two wheels seemed to have good stories about balancing kids and motorcycling? Thus, we kept doing what we were doing — until the spring of 2021 when I started experiencing strange symptoms and a little blue plus sign appeared.
Throughout pregnancy, I felt fearful that what everyone told me would come to fruition — until I had the opportunity to speak with professional motorcycle racer, crew chief and mom of two, Melissa Paris. During an interview for the MotoTribe YouTube channel I have with my friends Anna Rigby and Laura Craft, Paris shared her experience raising a family while also being on the road and juggling life on two wheels with us.
She does more than just ride. She and her husband, Josh Hayes, are the ultimate motorcycle racing power couple. In fact, Paris was the first female to qualify for a world supersport race and the only woman to test a MotoGP M1 prototype bike. Despite her achievements, she too experienced naysayers throughout her journey but proved them wrong. It felt refreshing and motivating to hear her story and to finally hear someone say that it’s completely possible to have kids and pursue your passion. During the remainder of my pregnancy, with Paris as my inspiration, I made it my goal to keep pursuing my love of riding.
Our son, Atherton, was born on Jan. 13, 2022, via emergency C-section. It was a difficult and traumatic delivery, but he was born healthy and perfect. I found that although I had a deep love of riding, the love for my son was so much stronger. It opened up something inside me I never knew existed, and suddenly I understood the thrill and joy of being a parent. As much happiness as I felt, it was hard to believe that I ever could have let people’s negative opinions influence my decision to have a child; however, I also soon realized that the people who told me how difficult it would be to continue riding and raise a child weren’t exactly wrong.
Within four weeks of the C-section, I was back on my bike, but reality soon hit. The hospital bill arrived, maternity leave ended and there was childcare to pay for — which is insanely expensive. In order to ride our bikes, my husband and I had to pay for a babysitter so a simple day of riding costs us an additional $60 to $100 when before all it required was paying for a tank of gas. It’s also much more complicated to manage a track day or race weekend. During the first pit bike race, not only did we have to arrange a childcare provider, but I was having to dash away in between practice and qualifying racing to pump so my son could eat and I still had to make it to the start line in time.
I quickly began to understand the balancing act is easier said than done. I could also now empathize with motorcyclists who struggle to maintain their riding or racing and keep their bikes after having children. Some two-wheeled parents must make the difficult decision to focus on finances over motorcycling to provide stability and a better quality of life for their family — and that’s something to applaud.
These days, motorcycling looks a lot different for me than it did a year ago, but I learned through the process that although I’ve had to make changes — and although it’s a whole lot harder than I ever thought it would be — the balancing act is not only possible to achieve but that being a parent is incredibly worth it. Looking back, my only regret is listening to the negativity that people shared since there is so much happiness to be had in pursuing the sport I love while also sharing it with my son.
When my son was only 6 weeks old, my husband and I took him with us to the Herrin Compound in Dublin, Georgia, to get in some track time. While the diaper changes and feedings were a handful to manage on top of getting ourselves dressed and the bikes ready — and we had to take turns on track — it was a special experience to have our newborn son there with us as a family and being introduced to motorcycles. And maybe one day, he’ll be out there with us on the track on his own bike — and instead of me racing, I’ll be the one cheering for him from the sidelines. The enjoyment I felt on that trip showed me that combining a passion for a sport with the love for family is a beautiful thing.
I can’t say exactly say how life on two wheels will play out in the future, but I do know our family is dedicated to making motorcycles and child rearing work. The important thing is that motorcyclists need to understand that the balancing act is possible and to stop scaring fellow riders who are future parents with negative stories and assumptions.
Juggling riding and kids looks different for everyone. It depends on not only your personal priorities, but your finances, job constraints and access to child care. Some parents might have to take a break from riding for a while, but for many of us, we wouldn’t trade it for the world.
